“Without you, there’s a big GAAP in my life”
“Come live in my heart and pay no rent.” – Samuel Lover
(Said it to the girlfriend and she lost it, told me to post)
*Walks up to female*
A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 fake, 1 real and he says to her “I will stop loving you when all the roses die”
A day by your side would be a perfect day.
A girlfriend is like a good carpenter
Am I at the end of a rainbow? I just found treasure.
And she’s like, how many girlfriends have you had?
Are you a campfire? Because you are hot, and I want s’ more.
Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!
Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.
Are you a tower? Because Eiffel for you!
Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?
Are You As Gorgeous On The Inside As You Are On The Outside?
Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.
Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Baby, you’re so sweet you put Hershey’s out of business.
Because you have phenomenal boobies.
Because you look a lot like my next girlfriend
Before kissing you, I want to reach your heart.
Can I tie your shoes? Cause I don’t want you to fall for someone else.
Can you pretend to be my girlfriend for just like… a few months? Years maybe?
Cause I gotta show my family what my future girlfriend looks like
Cause when I slide into you, you take me to another world!
Colors become brighter when you are in the room.
Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. (Oh Really. What is that?) Its just that…your number’s not in it.
Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
Do I know you? ‘Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend/boyfriend.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I pass by again?
Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend/girlfriend material?
Do you mind taking a picture together
Do you want to know the best thing in my life? It’s the first word of this sentence.
Do you work for UPS? From across the room, I thought you were checking out my package.
Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
Does Your Left Eye Hurt? Cause You’ve Been Looking Right All Day.
Even if gravity didn’t exist, I’d still be attracted by the force of your love.
Excuse me, do you have a Band-aid? I just hurt my leg when I fell for you.
Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?
Falling for you would be a very short trip.
For some reason, I was feeling a little off today. But when you came along, you definitely turned me on
For you, I feel like I can do anything in this world.
Forget About Spiderman, Superman, And Batman. I’ll Be Your M
He thinks he just broke up with his imaginary girlfriend.
Her : oh its Aug 15th.
Hey baby, are you a Warp Pipe?
Hey can I ask a favor?
Hey girl ? Do I know you ?
Hey, do you mind if I interview you for a girlfriend position?
Hey, feel my sweater. Do you know what it’s made of? Girlfriend Material!
Hey, whats your birthday?
Hey, you know my doctor says I am afraid of commitment. Do you want to prove him wrong?
Hi, I’m writing a book on the finer things of life and I was wondering if I could interview you?
Hi, I’m just planning my future and I wanted to ask you: Are you free for the rest of your life?
Hi! You Must Be A Broom, Cause You Just Swept Me Off My Feet!
How about you come over here? I’ve got all of your favorites ready. Burgers, fries, smoothies, and me.
I am more complete when I’m with you.
I am saving you a seat in my future, just in case you want to be part of the journey.
I Bet You $20 You’re Gonna Turn Me Down.
I can read palms. Oh! it says you’re going to call me soon.
I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather survive a Zombie Apocalypse with.
I can’t find a costume for Halloween. Can I just go as your girlfriend?
I Can’t Stop Looking At How Gorgeous You Are… If I Kiss You Will I Get Slapped?
I could flirt with you, but I’d rather charm you with my awkwardness.
I Definitely Wouldn’t Kick You Out Of Bed.
I Didn’t See Any Stars In The Sky Tonight, The Most Heavenly Body Was Standing Right Next To Me.
I finally found the girl I have been dreaming of, you!
I Had Two Wonderful Pickup Lines All Ready And Waiting. Then I Realized You Deserve Better.
I have a boyfriend. (Guy) I have a pet goldfish. (Girl) What? (Guy) I thought we were talking about things that didn’t matter.
I hope you’re gay because you’re an LGB CUTIE.
I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are.
I lost my future girlfriend’s phone number, I think you might have it
I love you until the end, no matter what you do, what you say or where you are.
I love you with all my circle, not my heart. Because hearts break, but circles go on forever.
I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art.
I need a map because I am getting lost in your eyes.
I only need two things: everything and nothing. Everything that makes you happy and nothing that makes you suffer.
I sincerely apologize for not being a part of your past. How about we spend the future together so I can make it up to you?
I think I should tell you what people are saying behind your back, ”nice buns.”
I think something is wrong with my phone… Your number is missing from it.
I think the gap between my fingers were meant for yours.
I think your hand looks heavy. Would you like me to hold it for you?
I thought happiness started with an “H.” Why does my happiness start with “U.”
I want to be the one your “ex” hates, and your mom loves.
I want to be the only hand you ever need to hold.
I want to tell you what I never told you before, just to see if finally something happens between both of us.
I was going to buy you a box of chocolate, but you already have a sweet box.
I was on a boat, looking for love. Suddenly, my boat sank and I reached the lost island of your love.
I Won’t Give You A Pickup Line, If You Let Me Buy You A Drink.
I would like to be a necklace, to be closer to your heart.
I would like to be a sweet to melt in your mouth.
I wrote your name in the sky; a cloud removed that. I wrote your name in the sand; the wind blew that away. I wrote your name in my heart; nothing can remove that.
I’m sorry – I don’t know your name. Can I just call you mine?
I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?
I’m lucky because I have plans for today, for tomorrow, for the week, and for my whole life—to make you happy.
I’m new in town, could you give me directions to your place?
I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.
I’m not actually this tall. I’m just sitting on my wallet.
I’m not currently an organ donor, but I’d be happy to give you my heart.
I’ve Had A Crush On You Since I Got Here.
I’ve had a crush on you since I got here.
If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don’t worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.
If beauty were time, you’d be eternity.
If God made anything more special than you, he kept it all to himself.
If I ate a piece of candy for every time you popped up in my mind, I’d be fat.
If I could fulfill a wish, I would choose to love you again.
If I followed you, would you keep me?
If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would have more roses than they have given on the Bachelor over the years.
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.
If I steal your heart and you steal mine, that would be a perfect crime.
If my soul was an ink pen and my heart was an inkwell, with the blood of my veins I would write I LOVE YOU.
If you didn’t exist, I would invent you.
If you stood in front of the mirror and held up eleven red roses you would see twelve of the most beautiful things you could ever see.
If you were a library book, I would certainly check you out.
If you were a teardrop I would never cry for fear of losing you.
If You Weren’t Here, I’d Be The Hottest Person In This Place.
If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.
If your beauty were time, then you would go on forever.
In truth, im not sure what my shirt is made out of, but i do know that im 100% cott-on you
Is being beautiful your full-time job?
Is this the Hogwarts Express? Because it feels like you and I are headed somewhere magical.
It’s a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!!
It’s a good thing I wore my gloves today; otherwise, you’d be too hot to handle.
It’s said that nothing lasts forever. Will you be my nothing?
Kissing Is A Language Of Love, So How About A Conversation?
Life has given me the chance to know you and love you, and I won’t miss that opportunity.
Like my shirt? You prolly think im gonna say it’s made of girlfriend material, but…
May I touch you? I want to check if you are real.
Me to my accountant girlfriend
Me: oh that’s funny.
My best love was chocolate. Then you came around.
My feet are getting cold… because you’ve knocked my socks off!
My first name and your last name would sound great together.
My heart is like a volcano about to explode with love for you.
My heart is perfect because you are inside it.
My love for you is a circle; it never ends.
My mind is full of You!
My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
My Parents Are So Excited, They Can’t Wait To Meet You. Too Soon?
No wonder the sky is gray today. All the blue is in your eyes.
No wood gets wasted
Oh, what a coincidence. That’s the name of my future girlfriend.
Only your kisses can eclipse my soul.
Pardon me, do you have a bandaid? Because I just hurt my arm when I fell for you.
People call me John, but you can call me Tonight!
Roses are red, violets are blue. No clue where I’m going with this was just trying to impress you.
See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.
Thats the same birthday as my next girlfriend!
The more time I spend around you, the more I realize just how much I can’t picture my life without you.
The only thing that is as beautiful as you is your reflection in the mirror.
The Way You Smile, How Could I Resist You?
There is plenty of fish in the sea, but you’re the only one I’d like to catch.
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off you.
There’s only one thing I want to change about you, and that’s your last name.
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
Used this to pick up my girlfriend boys
Wanna know what my life is without you? (Cover her eyes) Nothing. It’s nothing without you.
What’s your name?
When I am my happiest, it’s always when I am with you!
When you look at the stars remember me, because in every one of them there’s a kiss for you.
Why do you wear makeup? You are just messing with perfection.
Why would I want to look at the stars when I can see the ones in your eyes all the time?
Will you give hope to this hopeless romantic?
Wouldn’t it be the perfect crime if I stole your heart and you stole mine?
Wouldn’t we look good on a wedding cake together?
Wow, People like you only existed in my dreams until now.
You are and always will be my best casualty.
You are my today and all of my tomorrows.
You are so beautiful. You are like a ray of sunshine!
You are so gorgeous that you made me forget my pick-up line.
You are the reason love exists.
You are the reason that men fall in love.
You are what I want to have and what I am afraid to have, but I love you anyways.
You don’t cross my mind. You live there!
You give me premature ventricular contractions. You make my heart skip a beat.
You look like my third girlfriend
You look so hot that I could cook rice on you.
You Make Me Melt Like An Ice Cream Cone In The Summer Sun.
You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall…is in love with me.
You must be the Galapos
You must be tired because you’ve been all day around my head.
You remind me of a pop tart. (Why?) You’re cool because you’re hot!
You should go in the water, because you’re so hot you’re on fire!
You spend so much time in my dreams I should charge rent!
You sure are the most beautiful thing in the room.
You: ‘Hey, are your shoelaces tied?’ Him: ‘Ya, why?’ You: ‘Just wanted to make sure you’re not falling for anybody else!’
You’re as hot as a desert summer.
You’re hotter than a Bunsen burner set to full power!
You’re hotter than donut grease.
You’re hotter than Papa Bear’s porridge.
You’re so hot the sun is jealous.
You’re so hot you could make a deceased man’s dick rise from the dead!
You’re so hot you must’ve started global warming.
You’re so hot you would make the devil sweat.
You’re so hot, even my pants are falling for you!
You’re so hot, I bet you could light a candle at 10 paces.
You’re so hot, I could bake cookies on you.
You’re so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you’d poop out toast!
You’re so hot, you’re making my beer warm.
You’re so hot; you make the sun envious.
You’re late…I wished for a guy like you years ago.
You’re my girlfriend.
You’re so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line.
Your eyes are like sunsets: brilliant, beautiful and impossible not to look at.
Your lips look so lonely. Would they like to meet me?
Your so hot the sun has to wear sunglasses just to look at you.
Your so hot when i look at you i get a tan.
Your so hot you make my teeth sweat