Funny Sex Pick Up Lines

“Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.”

“Are you a magician? Because when I look at you, everyone else disappears.”

“Aside from being so gorgeous and intelligent, what are your other attributes?”

“Can you do me a favor? I need you to take down my number.”

“Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?”

“Did you know penguins stick to one partner their whole life? Would you like to be my penguin?”

“Do you remember me? I’m the man of your dreams.”

“I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast. Deal?”

“If being in love was illegal, I would want to be your partner in crime.”

“If Disney is the happiest place on Earth, in your arms is no doubt the happiest place in the universe.”

“Life without you is like a broken pencil. Pointless.”

“Sir, I’m going to need you to step away from the bar. You’re melting all the ice.”

“Thank god I have life insurance. Because you make my heart stop.”

“That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?”

“When I see you, I see my light switch. Can I turn you on?”

“Ya know, I was feeling a little off today. But you’ve turned me on.”

“You must be in a wrong place – the Miss Universe contest is over there”

“You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pick-up line.”

“Your lips look lonely. Wanna introduce them to mine?”

“I can tell you’re into yoga, so why don’t you spend a little time showing me just how flexible you are?”

“Let’s play house. You can be the door then I can slam you all I want.”

“Was your dad a baker? Because you’ve got a nice set of buns.”

“Did you just come out of the oven? Because you’re hot.”

And my very favorite is a spoonful of Nutella. What did you think?

And your naked body on my bed.

Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot and I want s’more.

Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention.

Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you.

Are you a light switch? ‘Cause you turn me on!

Are you a raisin? Cause you’re raising something in my pants.

Are you a termite, because you look like you’d like to have a mouth full of wood.

Are you a tortilla? Because I want to flip you over and eat you out!

Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a large bone for you to examine.

Are you an eco-friendly kind of girl? The condom in my pocket goes expires tomorrow, so why don’t you help me use it?

Are you an elevator? Because I’ll go up and down on you.

Are you an exam? Because I have been studying you like crazy.

Are you Dracula? You looked a little thirsty when you were looking at me.

Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only TEN I see

Are you smoking? (No!) Oh, yes you are!

Are you undressing me with your eyes?!

As long as I have a face, you’ll have a place to sit.

Baby, I’m like a firefighter, I find ’em hot and leave ’em wet!

Because a drink is about to be poured in your face.

Can you do telekinesis? Because you’ve made a part of me move without even touching it.

Can you tell me what time you’ll come back to my place, please?

Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged

Did you drink soda? Because you look so-da-licious.

Did you fart because you blew me away

Did you know my lips are like Skittles and you’re about to taste the rainbow?

Did you know smiling is the second best thing you can do with your lips?

Did you know the human body has 206 bones in it? How would you like it if I gave you one more?

Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you have a pretty sweet ass!

Dinner first, or should we go straight for the dessert?

Do I have to sign for your package?

Do I know you from somewhere? Because I don’t recognize you with your clothes on

Do we want to do something that rhymes with “truck”?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I’m here after

Do you come here often or do you like to wait until you get home?

Do you have a mirror in your pants, because I can see myself in them.

Do you have a shovel? Because I’m digging you.

Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?

Do you have room for an extra tongue in your mouth?

Do you know karate because your body is kickin

Do you know telekinesis? Because something has just moved with me without anyone touching it.

Do you know what would look good on you? Me

Do you like to draw? Because I put the D in Raw.

Do you need a sin for your next confession?

Do you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I’ll have to owe you one.

Do you want to commit a sin for your next confessional?

Do you want to go on a ate? I’ll give you the D later

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package

Fuck me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?

Give me your car keys so I can drive you crazy.

Has anyone ever told you what a great voice you have? I’m thinking it would sound more beautiful if it were muffled by my dick.

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you, you turn me on

Hey girl, is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.

Hey I just realized this, but you look a lot like my next girlfriend

Hey, should I come today?

Hey, you dropped something. My jaw.

Hi there, we haven’t met. My name is Milk and I’ll do your body good.

Hi, I’m an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus

Honey, I’m like a firefighter, I find them hot and leave them soaking wet.

I can read your mind. Yes, I will sleep with you.

I can tell you’re into yoga, why don’t you spend a little time showing me just how flexible you are?

I don’t feel like myself today. May I feel you?

I don’t think I want your babies, but I wouldn’t mind refining my baby making technique with you.

I hope there’s a fireman around, cause you’re smokin’!

I hope you got a pet insurance, cause tonight I’m gonna destroy that pussy.

I hope you like dragons, because I’ll be dragging my balls across your face later.

I know a great way to burn off the calories in that drink.

I like my bed, but I’d rather be in yours.

I lost my keys. Can I dig for them in your pants?

I must be a beaver because I’m dying for your wood.

I’ll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle

I’m afraid of the dark. Will you sleep in my bed with me tonight?

I’m no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.

I’m not a dentist, but I bet I could give you a filling.

I’m not a weatherman, but you can expect a few more inches tonight.

I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.

I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?

I’ve got skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?

If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head

If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

If you don’t want to have kids with me, then why don’t we just practice

If you were a squirrel, would you help me bust a nut?

Is it hot in here? Or is it just you?

Is your name Earl Grey? Because you look like a hot-tea!

Is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.

Just smile for yes, or do a triple backflip if you don’t want me in your bed.

Let’s play carpenter. First we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you.

Let’s play Titanic. You’ll be the iceberg and I’ll go down.

Look out in the night sky. You see that bright light to the right of that red one? That is a comet that is streaking toward here at 34546 miles per hour. At that rate, it will be here in about an hour. So, wanna fuck?

My cock just died, do you mind if I bury it in your ass?

My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.

One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong?

Or should I instead go?

Pizza is my second favorite thing that I eat in bed.

Please don’t let this go to your head, but do you want some?

Roses are red. Violets are fine. You’ll be my 6. I’ll be the 9.

Sit on my lap and tell me the first thing that pops up

Sorry, but you owe me an explanation. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, my pants dropped.

Tell me, if I were a watermelon, what would you do with my seed? Spit or swallow?

That dress looks really good on you but, it would look better on my bedroom floor.

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed

The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?

The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fck you on the floor.

The word of the day is legs. Let’s go back to your place and spread the word

They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me?

Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

Want to play train? You be the engineer and I’ll go choo-choo.

Want to see if you can add “has an awesome gag reflex” to your resume?

Were you arrested earlier? It’s gotta be illegal to look that good

What did you say your name was? I want to make sure I’m screaming the right name tonight.

What if I told you that I’m an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus?

Why don’t you come here, sit on my lap, and then we can talk about the first thing that pops up?

Why pay for a bra when I would gladly hold your boobs up all day for free?

With school, I just want an A. With you, I just want to F.

Would you let me melt in your mouth, not in your hands?

Would you like to go on an ‘ate’ with me? Don’t worry, I’ll give you the ‘D’ later.

Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It’s just like a French kiss, but takes place down under.

You are so hot, my zipper comes off by itself.

You are so selfish. You have this body all your life, and I only want it for one night.

You know what I really like in a woman? My cock.

You know what winks and then screws like a lion? {Wink at her}

You look great right now. Do you know what else would look great on you? Me!

You look great. But do you know what’s missing from your face? Mine.

You look so sweet you’re giving’ me a toothache

You must be Medusa because you make me rock hard.

You must be yogurt because I want to spoon you.

You must work at Subway because you just gave me a “Footlong.”

You work at a post office? Cause I saw you checking out my package.

You’re like milk, I just wanna make you part of my complete breakfast

You’re like Pringles once I pop you, I can’t stop you.

You’re so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

You’re so hot, my zipper is falling for you.

You’re so hot, that when I look at you I get a tan

You’ve been a bad girl. Go to my room

Your ass is so tight I want to crack my nuts on it.

Your body is a wonderland, and I want to be Alice

Your body is made up of 70% water. . .and I’m thirsty.

Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.

Your Daddy must have been a baker, cause you got the nicest set of buns I’ve ever seen

Your outfit would look perfect on the floor of my bedroom.

Your smile is almost as big, warm, and lovely as my penis.

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