Dirty Stupid Pick Up Lines

“Are you butt dialing me? I thought I heard your ass calling me.”

“I like you like I like my coffee. Constantly inside me.”

“I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.”

“Is your name winter? ‘Cause you’ll be coming soon.”

“Let’s pretend I’m the Titanic and you’re the ocean, I’ll go down on you.”

“Need a pillow to sit on? I can be yours if you want.”

“So how do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled, or fertilized?”

“Want to come over and watch porn all night on my new mirror?”

“Are those pants from space? Because your ass is out of this world.”

“Are you a chicken farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.”

“Are you a mask? Because I want you on my face.”

“Are you a sea lion? ‘Cause I can see you lyin’ in my bed tonight.”

“Are you a stack of dirty dishes? ‘Cause I want to get you wet and do you all night long.”

“Are you a woodchuck? Because I can see your wood.”

“Are you an exam? Because I have been studying you like crazy.”

“Are you butt dialing? Because I swear that a** is calling me.”

“Baby I’m hungry, but I want you to feed me from your leeps 2 my leeps.”

“Can you tell me what time you’ll come back to my place, please?”

“Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged”

“Did you fart because you blew me away”

“Do you have pet insurance? No. That’s too bad because your pussy is going to get pounded tonight.”

“Do you know karate because your body is kicking

“Do you know what would look good on you? Me”

“Do you want to commit a sin for your next confessional?”

“Give me your car keys so I can drive you crazy.”

“Hi, I’m an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus”

“I want to be the girl/guy who makes you say, ‘My life has changed since I met her/him’.”

“I wish I was your phone, so you’d be on me all day.”

“I’m afraid of the dark. Could you sleep with me tonight?”

“I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.”

“I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?”

“If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head”

“If you don’t want to have kids with me, then why don’t we just practice”

“Is that a keg in your pants? ‘Cause I wanna tap that ass.”

“Is your a** a library book. Because I want to check you out.”

“Is your last name s*icide? because I want to commit to you.”

“Is your name homework? ‘Cause I’m not doing you but I should be.”

“Is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.”

“Just checked my battery life, it’s at 69%.”

“Let’s both be naughty together and save Santa a trip.”

“Let’s play house! You’ll be the door and I’ll slam you.”

“My magic watch says you’re not wearing any underwear. Oh you are? It must be 15 minutes fast.”

“Roses are red, violets are blue. I like spaghetti, let’s go screw.”

“Sit on my lap and tell me the first thing that pops up”

“The word of the day is legs. Let’s go back to your place and spread the word”

“There’s a big sale in my bedroom right now. Clothes are 100% off!

“They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me?”

“They say you are what you eat. If that’s true, I could be you by morning.”

“Wanna go halfsies on a baby?”

“Were you arrested earlier? It’s gotta be illegal to look that good”

“You are just like a snowflake: beautiful, unique and with one touch, you’ll be wet.”

“You got a phone in your back pocket? ‘Cause that ass is calling me.”

“You remind me of a championship bass. I don’t know whether to mount you or eat you.”

“You’re so hot, my zipper is falling for you.”

“You’re the first thing I’m going to do after this lockdown.”

“You’ve been a bad girl. Go to my room”

“Your body is a wonderland, and I want to be Alice”

“Your Daddy must have been a baker, cause you got the nicest set of buns I’ve ever seen”

Although I may not go down in history as one of the best humans to ever live, I will go down on you.

Am I the only one wet in this room?

Apart from being handsome and sexy, what do you do for a living?

Are you a haunted house? I’m going to scream when I’m in you.

Are you a mask? Because I want you on my face.

Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin my dick.

Are you a stack of dirty dishes? ‘Cause I want to get you wet and do you all night long.

Are you a woodchuck? Because I can see your wood.

Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a large bone for you to examine.

Are you an eco-friendly kind of girl? The condom in my pocket goes out of date tomorrow, so why don’t you help me use it?

Are you butt dialing? Because I swear that a** is calling me.

Are you my new boss? Because you just gave me a raise.

Are you O.K.? because it’s a long fall from heaven.

Are you Sweadish? cuz you’re the sweetish girl I’ve met!

Are you the last air bender? ’cause I’d definitely like you bending for me.

Aside from being extremely sexy, what else do you do for a living?

Can I borrow a kiss from you? I promise to give it back.

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

Can I help loosen your belt? It looks really tight.

Can I read your T-shirt in Braille?

Can you tell me what time your legs open, please?

Come here or my dick will start CUMING for you! Don’t be so picky…. I wasn’t!

Did you ever realize screw rhymes with me and you?

Did you just come out of the oven? Because you’re hot.

Did you send the invitation to the party between your legs in the post or do you wanna give it to me in person?

Did you sit in a pile of sugar? ‘Cause you have a pretty sweet ass!

Do you alway wear your shoes over your socks?

Do you believe in karma? Because I know some good karma-sutra positions.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes.

Do you have a nickname? If not can I call you later?

Do you have any room for an extra tongue in your mouth?

Do you have pet insurance? No. That’s too bad because your pussy is going to get pounded tonight.

Do you know your ABC’s? Cause I wanna give you the 4th letter of the alphabet.

Do you like to draw? Because I put the D in Raw.

Do you mind me giving you an Australian kiss? I prefer French but deep down under!

Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.

Do you run track? Because I heard you Relay want this d*ck.

Do you want to know how I got these muscles? Picking up beautiful women like yourself.

Do you work at Home Depot? Because you’re giving me wood.

Don’t forget my name, because you’ll be screaming it tonight.

Fuck me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?

Give me your car keys so I can drive you crazy.

Have you heard about my book? I am writing a book, and I have something missing, your phone number!

Hey girl, I’m a fully-fledged meteorologist and something’s telling me you’re in for a few inches tonight.

Hey I’m looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?

Hey, do you have an inhaler? ‘Cause I heard you got that ass, ma!

Hey, I lost my underwear, can I see yours? Hey, why go for the best when you can go for the rest?

Hey, I’m bored. Entertain me and I’ll buy you a beer.

Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?

Hi, I’m wasted but this cond*m in my pocket doesn’t have to be.

Hi, the voices in my head tole me to come over and talk to you

How do you want your eggs? Poached, scrambled or fertilized?

I am accepting specific applications. Please apply now. To start with, what is your phone number?

I am putting you on my to-do list.

I bet it did hurt when you fell out of a vending machine because you are a real snack, babe!

I can tell you’re into yoga, why don’t you spend a little time showing me just how flexible you are?

I don’t like children until they are OUR children. What do you think about that?

I don’t think I want your babies, but I wouldn’t mind refining my baby making technique with you.

I feel a bit wasted, but the latex in my purse should not go to waste.

I find your lack of nudity disturbing.

I have 206 bones in my body. Do you want to give me another one soon?

I just moved and new in town. Please give me directions to your apartment.

I just shit in my pants… Can I get in yours?

I know I don’t look like much now, but I’m drinking milk.

I like the zippers on your pants. Can I touch them?

I lost my virginity… can I have yours?

I may not go down in history, but I will go down on you.

I must be a beaver because I’m dying for your wood.

I need someone to help me carry my tongue. Is there enough space in your mouth?

I promise I’m not like what you’re used to.

I think you are a light switch because you are really turning me on right now.

I think your dad is a preacher; you are a blessing, dude.

I think your name’s Google because you have everything I have been searching for in my life.

I think your pants have a mirror because I can see myself in them.

I visited my doctor earlier this week, and he told me I have a vitamin D deficiency. Please help me fill it; I am in dire need.

I want to share your bed tonight because mine is broken.

I wish I was your phone, so you’d be on me all day.

I wish you were here to play ‘Simon Says’ with me… in bed.

I would have worn my bikini if I knew tonight could get me so wet.

I’m addicted to yes, and I’m allergic to no. So what’s it gonna be?

I’m sorry, I’m an artist and it’s my job to stare at beautiful women!

I’ve got a thirst baby, and you smell like my Gatorade!

I’d love to kiss those beautiful, luscious lips. And the ones on your face.

I’m a bird watcher and I’m looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher. Have you seen one?

I’m not a dentist, but I bet I could give you a filling.

I’m not a weatherman, but you can expect a few more inches tonight.

If beauty were measured in seconds, you’d be an hour!

If I followed you home, would you keep me?

If I were an enzyme, I’d be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.

If I’m a pain in your a*s… We can just add more lubricant.

If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

If you are an eco-friendly kind of dude, I have a condom that expires tomorrow. Let’s save it.

Is that a keg in your pants? Because I’d love to tap that a*s.

Is your a** a library book. Because I want to check you out.

Is your last name s*icide? because I want to commit to you.

Is your name Clause, cause you got Mrs. written all over you.

It must be Christmas, babe because I cannot wait to unwrap you!

It seems like I have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

It’s too hot in here, or is it just you?

Just checked my battery life, it’s at 69%.

Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.

Let’s both be naughty together and save Santa a trip.

Let’s play carpenter. First we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you.

Much like Santa, I also have a gift for you in my sleigh.

My name is Peter Pan, cuz I can take you to Never Never Land.

My two favorite letters of the alpabet E Z.

Since I like you so much, do I have to sign for your package delivery?

Sing the ABC alphabet, and I’ll take on from the fourth letter, D.

Sleeping alone is a waste of my sexual talent.

So, what happens when my hands are damn cold. I guess I should put them in your pants to get some warmth.

Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.

Tell your bo*bs to stop staring at my eyes.

The wise men said kissing is the genuine language of love. Would you like to start one with me right now?

Theres a party in my pants and your invited.

They should suspend your driving license because you drive me super crazy.

Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

Wanna go halfsies on a baby?

Wanna go light my menorah?

We can make porn without cameras around. Isn’t it a great idea?

We’re going to someplace tonight. I want to hear who screams louder than the other.

What do yogurt, cereal, and soup have in common? They are a list of things I want to spoon.

What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?

What has four legs and doesn’t have the most beautiful girl on it? My bed. Want to fix that?

Would you mind a happy death? Because people say, sex is a killer.

You are just like a snowflake: beautiful, unique and with one touch, you’ll be wet.

You are so selfish. You’re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.

You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me.

You look good in those pants. But they can look great on the floor too. If you find it hard to get the right dirty pick-up lines to say to a guy, this is one of the best. It can take him by surprise, but he just has to obey.

You must be from Tennassee! Because you are the only TEN I see!

You with all those curves and I’m the car with no breaks… ooohhh -Drake

You’re like my menorah’s candles… getting hotter every day.

Your clothes look so uncomfortable. Why don’t you let me help you take them off?

Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie. I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.

Your smile is almost as big, warm, and lovely as my p*nis.

Your sweater is made of 100% boyfriend material. It looks great on you.

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