Depressing Pick Up Lines

“Goodness howdy, wanna Netflix and chill me?*kill. Kindly deliver me from the jail of presence.”

“Hello, would you say you are searching for some lost fortune? Investigate my chest…

“I need you to sit all over and remove all my depression.

“I sent love and I got Pain”

“I’m tragic yet I grin that is my life”

“It is safe to say that you are the methods for creation? ‘Cause I truly wanna hold onto you. *Death. I need to hold onto demise.”

(Holding inhaler) need a pomp?

after procrastinating for hours just before the big test and getting very mild depression

Are you a coffin? Because I really wish I was inside you right now.

Are you a concrete arch-gravity embankment in the Black Canyon of the Colorado River, on the border between the U.S. states of Nevada and Arizona constructed between 1931 and 1936 during the Great Depression and dedicated on September 30, 1935, by President Franklin D. Roosevelt?

Are you a coroner? Because I really want you to inspect my body.

Are you a death certificate? Because I really wish you were mine.

Are you a gravestone? Because I really wish you were on top of me.

Are you a gun? Because I really want to put you in my mouth.

Are you a hand grenade? Because I really want to lay down on you.

Are you a loan during the Great Depression? Because I wanna take you out

Are you a magician? Because you’re doing a disappearing act on me

Are you a noose? Because I really want to hang with you.

Are you a psychologist because you cure my depression.

Are you a sinking ship? Because I’d really like to go down on you.

Are you a therapist cuz you fix my depression.

Are you a toaster? Because I really want to take a bath with you.

Are you an electrical outlet? Because I really want to stick my fingers in you.

Are you an exhaust pipe? Because I really want to suck on you.

Are you anti-depressants? Because if I don’t have you every day I’m going to kill myself.

Are you death? Because I long for your sweet embrace.

Are you depressed yet? Cause you’ve been stuck in my head all day.

Are you depressed, TOO?!

Are you depressed? Because I see you in my future.

Are you depressed? Because you make me want to end my life without you.

Are you depressed? Cause I want you to f*©k me all day long

Are you depressed? Cause you make me want to kill my self

Are you depression? Because I am in a downward spiral thinking about.

Are you depression? Because I cannot think of anyone else that can bring me happiness.

Are you depression? Because I have known you all my life.

Are you depression. Because I want you to f*ck the life out of me all day long.

Are you Franklin Roosevelt? Because you bought me out of a Great Depression with a New Deal.

Are you my crippling depression? Because you are like a drug to me.

Are you my crippling depression? Cause I wanna drug you

Are you my depression pills? Because I can’t smile without you.

Are you my homework? Cause I wanna slam you on my table and do you all night long

Are you suicide? Because I think about you every day.

Are you the means of production? ‘Cause I really wanna seize you. *Death. I want to seize death.

Are you the suicide hotline? Because I really need to get your number.

Are you traffic? Because running into you would really make my day.

Babe I feel empty inside, and you are the only one filling up my depression with hope.

Babe, I don’t need Viagra to help me with depression. Because you already make my life hard.

Babe, I got depression. But that’s OK, because I can go down for you any night.

Babe, I want you because you pull me out of my depression?

Because I wanna have kiss with you

because I’m staying at home all day like lazy bum playing games and being on Reddit.

Because just looking at you brought me out of a Great Depression.. and you’re a dime.

Because you give me the Great Depression.

Because you make me want to stay in bed all day trapped beneath your weight.

Can I suicide in your DMS?

Cuz I want more than one dose a day 😉

Damn Girl, you’re adorable, allowed me to get your email address.

Depressed? Let me cure you with a dose of orgasm.

Depression resembles a war You either win or kick the bucket attempting.

Did you fart? Because you blew me away

Each man has his mysterious distresses which the world knows not and frequently we call a man cold when he is just dismal.

Girl you’re so hot that I would still talk to you even after I’m off the anti-depressant pills I

Girl, when you don’t text me back, I sometimes go into a tropical depression.

Gracious you discouraged?

Haha me as well. mind in the event that I self-destruction in your DMS haha..?

Hay girl, are you crippling depression? Because I’m going to be in bed curled up with you all day!

Here’s a depressing one! Hey, girl are you the sun? Because you’re brighter than my future.

Hey baby, Is your name clinical depression? Because you make me want to stay in bed all day trapped beneath your weight.

Hey girl are you 1929?

Hey girl are you my dog when I get depressed?

Hey girl, are you an addicting video game? Because I wanna pour all my time playing

Hey girl, are you an anti depression pill?

Hey, there seaman? Wanna… inspect ma gills?

I don’t know much about depression, but I’m pretty great.

I don’t need a boyfriend in Ramadaan, I’ve got a date every night

I don’t think a lot about depression, however, I’m quite incredible.

I just want to tell you that you’re really beautiful [pause] but I’m gay.

I think I need an asthma pump because you just took my breath away

I think we need a humidifier because it’s getting steamy up in here

I thought for a second I died and went to heaven when I saw your sad face, but then you smiled and I am alive and heaven has been brought to me.

I thought you were Franklin Roosevelt for a second

If I jumped on your back, would you beat me off?

Individuals cry not on the grounds that they’re frail It s since they’ve been solid for a really long time.

Is it accurate to say that you are discouraged at this point? Cause you’ve been latched

Is it accurate to say that you are discouraged? Cause you make me need to slaughter myself.

Is it true that you are a headstone? Since I truly wish you were on top of me

Is it true that you are clinically depressed? Cause you make me wanna commit suicide.

It is safe to say that you are a credit during the Great Depression? Cause I wanna take you out

It is safe to say that you are a passing declaration? Since I truly wish you were mine.

It is safe to say that you are discouraged at this point? Cause you’ve been latched onto

It is safe to say that you are my depression pills? Since I can’t grin without you

It is safe to say that you are the methods for creation? ‘Cause I truly wanna hold onto you. *Death. I need to hold onto demise.”

it’s a really original break-up song)

It’s not my fault I fell in love. Your sadness tripped me.

It’s not my issue I began to look all starry-eyed at. Your bitterness stumbled me.

Let’s go to Australia and get dirty down under

Listen to Beyonce, I like it and I’m gonna put a ring on it

my subconscious mind the entire day.

Oh hi, wanna Netflix and chill me?*kill. Please release me from the prison of existence.

One awful relationship could make you never need to fall head over heels in love again.

onto my subconscious mind the entire day.

Seriously, if there’s a chance I might lose oxygen flow and die… I’ll take it.

Show me the meaning of being lonely (I know that’s a Backstreet Boys reference but wow

Some say you are not charming when you are tragic but rather I don’t. I think you are still totally perfect.

Some say you are not cute when you are sad but I don’t. I think you are still absolutely gorgeous.

stole from my hospital’s pharmacy.

that only several years of therapy can help me with because I’m a sick and mournful fool

The terrible truth is nobody is truly upbeat in their life.

Truly, if there’s a possibility I may lose oxygen stream and kick the bucket… I’ll take it.”

Whenever you are sad, just touch me and it’d be like you are touched by an angel.

with you then realize that I’m depressed and have accomplished nothing in this world

You appear to be discouraged. We should blast the depression out of one another!

You look like you fell from Heaven and Jesus saved you

You seem depressed. Let’s bang the depression out of each other!

You’re depressed, I’m depressed

Young lady, when you don’t message me back, I at times go into a tropical depression.

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