Are you a thriller? Because I can’t seem to put you down.”
“Are you reading Fahrenheit 451? Because damn, you’re smoking.”
“Boy, you must be a library book, because I can’t stop checking you out.”
“Call me Big Brother, because I’ve been watching you all night.”
“Call me William S. Burroughs, because I want to Naked Lunch with you.”
“Can you believe that kid over there is just reading Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone for the first time? Welcome to 1997, buddy. Spoiler alert: Snape kills Dumbledore.”
“Did I just step into an E. M. Forster novel? Because any room with you in it is A Room with a View.”
“Excuse me, could you point me toward the Self-Help section? I need some advice on how to approach a gorgeous guy in a bookstore without seeming creepy.”
“I don’t know about you, but I found to Dave Eggers’ latest effort to be really derivative. Just kidding. I don’t even know what derivative’ means. Man, your eyes are gorgeous.”
“I don’t mean to brag, but I’m one of the fastest speed-readers in the tri-county area.”
“I hope this isn’t too forward, but I saw you awkwardly skimming The Illustrated Kama Sutra, and I gotta say that I find your discerning literary taste to be immensely attractive.”
“I hope you don’t have a roommate, because tonight, I want to make a lot of The Sound and the Fury with you.”
“I noticed that you’re holding a copy of Twilight. Let’s never, ever go out.”
“I see that you can read. That sh*t’s hot.”
“If you were a book, I’d need glasses, because you’d definitely be fine print.”
“Is that a hardcover, or are you just happy to see me?”
“It would be both a Crime and Punishment if you don’t let me take you out.”
“Man, I could read Pride and Prejudice over and over. Mr. Darcy is fine as hell.”
“There’s nothing sexier than Ayn Rand preachin’ about egoism, am I right? I’m right.”
“Want to come back to my place to see my huge Phillip K. Dick collection?”
“What do you say we get out of here and find A Room of One’s Own?”
“Would it be too bold of me to ask your opinion on the state of contemporary American literature? Personally, I think that Michael Chabon and George Saunders are revolutionizing the game.”
“You must be the Lord of my flies, because they’ll only unzip for you.”
“You’re body is so banging, what do you say we make a sequel.”
“You’re so sexy, I’d even let you fold my pages dog-eared style.”
After you read Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle, I’m the only thing you won’t be disgusted by.
Alternative response: because all you do is leave me on read
And I am a blind guy that only reads in braille.
Any room with you in is A Room with a View.
Are you a book? Because I want to use and then lose you and forget I ever knew you
Are you a bookworm? Because I want to worm my way inside of your pants, girl.
Are you a library book? Because I am checking you out.
Are you an overdue book? Because you have fine written all over you!
Are you Five People? ‘Cause I just met you, and I’m in Heaven.
Are you librarian? Because I really need to get shushed!
As I Lay Dying…my biggest regret was not telling you how beautiful you are.
Babe, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call fine print.
Baby you’re so hot it’s got to be at least Fahrenheit 451 in here.
Because I see you checking me out
Boy, you must be a library book, because I can’t stop checking you out.
Call me Ishmael. When can I call you?
Can I check you out and take you home with me.
Can I have The Way of All Flesh with you?
Can I read your shirt?
Can I take you out of here and find you a room of your own so that you continue enjoying your novel.
Can we make a sequel? Because your body is so banging.
Can you help me? I’m in Search of all the Lost Time I spent checkin’ you out.
Care to come back to my place for a little Dickens?
Charles Dickens might have given you Great Expectations, but I can meet them.
Did I just step into an E. M. Forster novel? Because any room with you in it is A Room with a View.
Did you read this weekend’s forecast? Cloudy with a chance of Squirtle.
Even Cowgirls Get the Blues if you won’t give them your number, boy.
Fancy meeting you here. Just last night I filled out my Amazon wishlist and you were at the top.
Feel free to call me William Burroughs ‘cause I want Naked Lunch with you.
Girl, I’m glad I brought my library card, ’cause I’m checking you out!
Girl, it would be both a Crime and a Punishment if you don’t let me take you out.
Girl, we’re the Beautiful and the Damned, you’re beautiful and I’ll be damned if you don’t let me buy you a drink.
Girl, you raise my temperature way past Fahrenheit 451.
Hello I have a question. A man asked me if he could read my shirt in brail. What does that mean?
Hey baby, can I put you on reserve?
Hey Baby, how about you and I go back to my house so I can break out my calc book and study those curves.
Hey cutie, I Sense you have a lot of Sensibility. Was that too Austen-tatious of me to point out?
Hey girl, are you a book? Because I want to run my fingers down your spine while I bury my face in you for hours.
Hey girl, I have a unreturned library book that I want to read to you tonight.
Hey, think I can get your reference number?
I am the direct of Adult Services. How many I help you?
I believe in being earnest so I want you to know that I am Ernest about you, honey.
I bet you have a lot of techniques to show me in that bedroom, let me be your experiment.
I can be the Geek-eralla to your Prince Charming, we can stay up until midnight today!
I have a library card—do you mind if I check you out?
I heard bookworm has a lot of exquisite techniques in every aspect, care to teach me?
I just wrote about you in my dark emotional journal.
I know how to read and everything.
I know I’m not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but one glance at you and I’m already interested.
I like books, you like books: why don’t we start writing the story of us?
I love how sexy you are. I would wish to let you unfold my pages dog-eared style
I love to be with Morrie on Tuesdays but I want to be with you for the rest of the week.
I may not be Jane but I would Eyre tell you that you are fantastic in bed, babe.
I sincerely think that you need to always end your letters in: P.S. I still love you.
I think you must be five people because after I met you, I felt like I am in heaven, girl.
I was reading the book of numbers yesterday, and I realized I don’t have yours.
I’ve been reading Joshua, but how many times do I need to walk around you before you fall for me?
I’ll be a Jane around the house but a Bertha in bed.
I’m a Ravenclaw on the streets, but a Gryffindor between the sheets.
I’ve been watching you all night. Call me Big Brother.
I’ve tried my best to put you down but I’ve realized I won’t. You are a thriller.
If I had a flower for every time I’ve thought of you, I’d have a Secret Garden.
If I had to make a Patronus, I’d just think of you.
If I was given a flower for times that you have crossed my mind, we’d be in the Secret Garden.
If you are Colleen Hoover I would gladly be with you and hope that it ends with us, baby.
If you become the Lord of my flies, they will only unzip for you.
If you decline my wish to take you out, it would be a Crime and Punishment.
If you give me yo’ number, I’ll live up to all your Great Expectations.
If you played quidditch, you’d be a keeper.
If you were a book you’d definitely be fine print. That’s why I’m in glasses to read you.
If you were a book, I’d stay up all night reading.
If you were a book, I’d wish I were blind.
If you were a library book, I’d never bring you back.
If you were an articlie more than 200 words long, I would still read you.
If you were mine, I’d catalog you under desirables.
If your body were poetry I would read you in braille
Is your name Scarlett? Because when I saw you, my heart was gone with the wind.
It’s funny that you’re reading Tennessee Williams, since you’re the only 10 I see.
It’s no wonder Big Brother’s watching you. On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re 1984.
Let us do Wilde things together, you and I, in my room tonight, baby!
Michael Faudet was right: you are one of those Pretty Dirty things.
My name may not be Luna, but I sure do Love Good
Nice buns! Is your name Peeta?
So I can read you in Braille.
There are so many books here but I want to read you.
To me you are a library book. I can’t stop checking you out.
Unlike everyone in Les Misérables, my love for you will never die.
Want to come back to my place to see my book collection?
We could make such a beautiful library together.
When I lay dying, you’d be the one I want to see before I pass to the other world, darling.
Wherever you are, I hope you would not let your Pride and Prejudice rule over you.
Will you roommate be around tonight? I would like to come over to make a lot of the Sound and the Fury with you.
Would you let me end the Age of your innocence right now, baby?
Would you like to come to my place and see my huge collection of Philip Dick collection?
You are like a good novel—I just can’t get you out of my head.
You are smoking hot. Do you read Fahrenheit 451?
You are the hottest of all I’ve checked out.
You had me at “I like books.”
You had me at: I read Lawrence Durrell.
You know what’s harder than read post-structuralist literature? Me.
You look like a book that I long overdue, babe, since you have the word fine all over!
You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.
You must be a bookworm but I bet your hole isn’t full yet, let me book that up for you.
You must be a library book… because I can’t stop checking you out.
You should read my diary…
Your body is a poem