Accounting Pick Up Lines

“For you babe, I’d drop the first “n” in my finance just to be your fiancé.

After filing my taxes today, I’ve learned that my spending account is quite flexible. Are you flexible?

Are you a 1040EZ? Cause I need to fill you in!

Are you a corporate bond? Cause I’m accruing interest in you!.

Are you a tax accountant?

Are you accounting on me to balance your sheets tonight?

Are you equity? Cos my assets don’t equal liabilities without you.

Are you flexible?

Are you my revenue? Because baby, I’m so loss without you.

Are your feet tired? Because you’ve been running in a straight line in my mind all day long.

Babe, let’s form a partnership.

Babe, you SUTA my needs.

Babe! Can I capitalize you?

Baby if I take you home, it’ll be an experience you ain’t gonna be writing off anytime soon.

Baby you’re so unique, I have to job cost instead of process cost.

Baby, I could tax that ass all night long!

Baby, if I had you, I wouldn’t need to perform so many manual entries.

Baby, show me your debits and I’ll fill your GAAP.

Baby, unlike a fixed asset, I will never depreciate.

Can I be your external control?

Can you be my accountant, because it’s too taxing for me not to love you.

Can you help me balance my sheets?

Can you show me how exactly I earn your income tax credit?

Come here often? Every day? From 9 to 5? Yeah, I guess that is often.

Damn, Girl, that asset thou.

Do you have any stocks?

Do you have anything to do tonight? Because I would love to drive you home and retire your assets.

Excuse me, I saw you talking to that guy over there. Please don’t. There’s a going concern that he has significant control deficiencies.

For you boo, I’d drop the first n in my finance just to be your fiancé.

Girl if you stick with me my feelings for you will never depreciate.

Girl you don’t need no bridge loan to close the GAAP between us.

Girl/Boy you must be some type of corporate asset because I am accruing lots of interest in you.

He: Are you my revenue? She Why? He: Because I’m so loss without you!

Hey babe, I forgot my password to your account.

Hey babe, what do ya say we go back to my cubicle and fondle each other’s PBCs?

Hey babe, you know sex toys are deductible this year.

Hey girl, can I be your external control?

Hey girl, do you know why they call me Gross Profit? Well actually, no one does…they just call me gross.

Hey girl, you have got a GREAT figure. You must be an accountant!

Hey girl/boy, do you know why my nickname is Gross Profit? Actually no one calls me that… they just call me gross.

Hey girl/boy, do you want to be like an accounting journal entry and help balance each other out?

Hey handsome, you remind me of all the journal entries you did today because you and I just add up.

Hey how are your books looking? Do you have room for a date-a-entry?

Hey you, if I was an accountant, then you just accrued my love.

Hey, do you want to be like an accounting journal entry and help balance each other out?

Hey, Girl, if you are a bond. I would love to hold you to maturity.

Hey, Girl, my life won’t balance without you.

Hey, I am fixed on your assets; be careful.

Hey, my name is a bond municipal bond.

Hey, wanna be like an accounting journal entry and balance each other out?

How about we get out of here and appreciate each other’s assets.

How about we swap some liquid assets?!

How do you feel about the double entry method?

How’re things looking in your books, got any room for some date-a entry?

I am so lost without you

I am thinking about recognizing you as a capital lease because I will own you at the end of the day.

I can show you exactly how to earn your income tax credit.

I can sure balance your ledger.

I could add some serious value to your account.

I don’t give you enough credit for what you do to my debit.

I have a small winky, but a big bank account.

I just want you to know, you make all my accounts receivable.

I know I shouldn’t use the direct write-off method, but I’ll do it for you.

I learned I have a pretty flexible solid spending account.

I may not be Heath, but I can sure balance your ledger.

I must be an incomplete ledger, because I need you to balance me out.

I need to test your inventory.

I promise, if you stick with me my feelings for you will never depreciate.

I really hope you’re a depreciating asset because I’d love to adjust your entry.

I saw you staring at me across the room.

I think I could add some serious value to your account.

I want to liquidate your assets.

I Want to put my substance all over your form.

I want to take you to my offshore account if you know what I mean.

I want you to know; you make all my accounts receivable.

I will handle not being moody when I rate you.

I will let you audit all my assets if you let me audit all of yours. You might be pleasantly surprised by what I have in my books.

I will show you my account, and you will show me yours.

I will show you my bits if you promise me not to byte.

I’d do just about anything to see your GAAP.

I’ll let you audit my assets if you let me audit yours. You’ll be pleasantly surprised to see what’s in my books.

I’ll show you my “bits” if you promise not to “byte”.

I’ll show you my corpus if you show me yours!

I’m done being a sole proprietor, let’s form a partnership

I’m gonna have to make some adjustments to your bottom line

I’m no accountant but I know my love for you has an estimated useful life of forever

I’m not ready for this projected benefit obligation.

I’ve been in public practice for several years, and that’s easily the largest endowment I’ve ever seen.

I’ve got an option I’d like to exercise on those plan assets.

I’d do just about anything to see your GAAP.

I’d like to make some adjustments to your bottom line.

I’d really love to sleep with you, but it’s tax day and I feel like I’ve already been screwed by an entire government agency.

I’ll help you screw Uncle Sam if you promise I’ll be next.

I’ll show you my spreadsheets if you show me yours.

I’m done being a sole proprietor, let’s form a partnership!

I’ve been auditing your body all night, and it is in damn fine standing.

If 4+4=8, then me plus you equals fate.

If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I near ENron so we could take it down together.

If I had you, I wouldn’t need to perform so many manual entries

If I help you screw Uncle Sam, can I be next?

If you like what you see up here, wait till you find out what I’ve got below the line…

If you stick with me my feelings for you will never depreciate.

If you were a bond, I’d hold you to maturity.

If you were an income item, you’d be an extraordinary gain.

In my office, “I.R.S.” stands for ‘I’m really sexy.’

IRS = I’m really sexy

Is _____ (name of whatever she’s drinking) the material weakness in your internal control?

It’s accrual world out there but I’m more than willing to invest in you.

Lady, you make my pants file for an extension.

Let me tell you something: if you’re filing with me? You’re definitely filing a…’10-40.’

Let’s fill out a 1040 — you’re a 10, and I’m 40.

Let’s leave this place and get started on that additional child tax credit

Lets try and make this triple bottom line.

Listen Honey, being with me is so good. It’s taxable.

Listen I don’t know what the hell an S corporation is, but I know I want to buy you a drink.

Listen, I’d love to sleep with you, but it’s tax day and I feel like I’ve already been screwed by an entire government agency.

Listen, I’ve been auditing your body all night, and it is in damn fine standing.

Me and you – we might need to swap some liquid assets.

My feelings for you will never depreciate.

My goodwill may be intangible, but my fixed assets are rock solid.

My Trial Balance just won’t balance without you.

Nice assets!

Please baby, let me withhold you.

Rest assured, I have a large enough staff for adequate coverage.

Slide your number slowly across the bar or table and then say “How do these numbers look to you?”

So do you file electronically around here often?

Someone told me that financial crime is very rarely investigated. Shall we take the risk?

Technically, having sex with me is a charitable gift.

That’s right, Girl Benefits while maintaining Independence.

The moment I found you, my depreciation method changed from a double-declining to a 150% declining balance

We can retire those assets.

We should go back to my place so you can audit my staff.

What are you doing on Friday night? Hopefully nothing because I’m accounting on taking you out.

Why don’t we go back to my place, and I’ll let you audit my staff.

You are audit I need.

You balance my books

You better believe me. I am going to capitalize.

You can come over a work in process but I’ll make sure you leave a finished good.

You can list me as a deduction, because I’m dependent on your love.

You definitely fill the GAAP in my heart.

You don’t need a bridge loan to close the GAAP between us.

You have been running in a straight line in my mind all day.

You know, my return this year was huge…like, huuuuge.

You know, you can increase your charitable contributions by handing me your digits.

You liquidate my heart.

You make a file for an extension.

You make my pants file for an extension.

You must be a one-sided balance sheet, all assets and no liabilities.

You must be an accountant because I’ve put you on my payroll.

You should have listed me as a deduction because I’m dependent on your love.

You’re entitled to a $5,000 tax break on your municipal bond income – now let’s do it.

You’re the kind of girl I could take home to mother, which is good, since I still live with her.

You’re the type of girl I know I could take home to my mother… Which is good since I still live with her and she claims me as a dependent.

You’ve got a lovely pair of W-2’s.

You’re entitled to a $5,000 tax break on your municipal bond income…now let’s do it.

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